Ready for Love Read online

  Lee’s Funeral Home hadn’t changed much over the years. It was still a little bit grimy and worse for wear. The folding chairs and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. church fans might have been there the last time he had been there, years ago. It was clear, though, that they still made money hand over fist when killing season started in the hood. He remembered his last spring and summer living in Paterson before moving to Los Angeles to attend college. He had attended far too many funerals for brothers shot down in their prime.

  When his eyes caught her in a heated debate with their former best friend, who also happened to be the former love of her life, Terrill rushed over and mentally kicked himself for being late. Jason Hightower’s angry voice greeted him as soon as he stepped up.

  “Are you sure about that? Because from what I could see that woman missed you and mourned you the entire time. And for you to stay away that long shows what a cruel, heartless, selfish—” Jason took a deep breath, glared at Penny and cut himself off.

  Terrill shook his head and sighed as he took in the anger in Jason’s voice and the angst-ridden, nervous energy surrounding Penny.

  The two of you deserve each other, a backstabber and a schemer. I can’t believe I ever trusted either one of you.

  The harsh words Jason had spoken fifteen years ago echoed in Terrill’s mind as he surveyed the scene. It was a good thing he’d decided to come and offer Penny moral support. There was no way she could have dealt with Jason and all their past baggage alone.

  He watched Penny brace her shoulders squarely. She inhaled and exhaled several times in succession. “You need to calm down, Jason. This is not the time or the place. If you cared about Big Mama as much as you claim you did, then you wouldn’t disrespect her wake like this.”

  Terrill placed his hand on her shoulder and Penny let out a sigh of relief.

  “Everything all right?” Terrill spoke the words to Penny but his eyes remained fixed on Jason. He tried to give his former friend the visual warning that backed up what Penny had just told him.

  Jason might have gotten a good sucker punch in on Terrill fifteen years ago, but Terrill wasn’t above throwing the man out if he didn’t heed the warning.

  Penny hugged Terrill and he could feel her body shaking just a little in his arms. “Everything is fine, Terrill. I’m glad you were able to make it.”

  Since they had just seen each other before she left Los Angeles, Terrill knew Jason’s presence was what made Penny extra happy to see him. She leaned on his shoulder and clasped the arm of his suit jacket.

  Terrill smiled at her and winked. He wanted to tell her that everything would be okay. But he had no way of really knowing that. He glanced around the room and noticed that all eyes were on them.

  Most of the people in the room were checking him out. It always seemed to happen when he went home. Not many people who’d grown up in a small one bedroom attic apartment with a single mom made it to be senior vice president of a major music label.

  The way eyes darted and conversations took place behind hands showed Terrill had given many of the folks in the room something to talk about. In fact, given the history between the three of them, the room was probably abuzz with gossip.

  Terrill figured they were talking about how Penny had dumped Jason for him all those years ago.

  If only they knew about the lies that had broken up the Three Musketeers.

  Terrill understood why most of the people in the room either couldn’t or wouldn’t take their eyes off of them. He knew what it had meant for both him and Penny to make it from their inner-city neighborhood in Paterson to their positions as movers and shakers in Los Angeles. Not many people from Warren Street who’d attended PS 10 and then East-side High School ended up where they were.

  Terrill noticed that Penny lifted her hand to her right eye and rubbed it across the tiny scar she had gotten when she was twelve. Although barely noticeable now, whenever Penny felt uncomfortable or put on the spot, her hand found and rubbed over the small mark. He watched her circle it with her pointer finger for a moment before she forced her hand down at her side.

  Terrill gritted his teeth. No matter what, Jason didn’t have a right to harass Penny like that. He made up his mind that he would personally dump Jason out on his ass if he didn’t cut it out. So what if everyone in the funeral home was probably waiting to see if they would cause a scene?

  “Hey, Jason. How’s it going?” Terrill reached out to his old friend in an attempt to get him to cool down and got a harsh stare and a sneer for the trouble. He felt his face heating and knew that the red undertones in his skin were probably lighting up like Rudolph’s nose on Christmas.

  Damn Jason for still being so arrogant!

  Terrill slanted his eyes and nodded a nod that he meant more as a promise: don’t-start-none-won’t-be-none.

  Jason didn’t even pretend to acknowledge Terrill.

  “You’re right, Penny. This isn’t the time or the place.” Jason gave her a once-over before walking away, and didn’t even bother looking at Terrill. “It wouldn’t even be worth it anyway.”

  Terrill’s mood morphed from disappointed to angry in zero seconds flat when he saw the pained look on Penny’s face. He knew that if he wasn’t careful he wouldn’t be able to contain his emotions and he might be the one causing a scene instead of trying to prevent one.

  Jason’s disdain was still palpable. The two men hadn’t been able to say a kind word to one another in fifteen years. But as far as Terrill was concerned that was Jason’s fault.

  Terrill squeezed Penny’s shoulder. Terrill hoped that Penny knew he didn’t blame her for losing his other best friend.

  Looking at the three of them now, no one would be able to tell people used to jokingly call them the Three Musketeers and tease them about being joined at the hips. They had been best friends since grade school and the friendship hadn’t changed when Jason and Penny became high school sweethearts. They hadn’t thought anything would be able to come between them. But they had been wrong.

  Terrill shook his head. There was no use dwelling on it now. He’d made his decision on whom he would stand by in the middle of a difficult time. But if he had it to do all over again, he wouldn’t have let things get so out of control that two people who loved each other would stay apart for fifteen years.

  Still, he needed at least to talk to Jason and make sure that he didn’t make things any harder for Penny when she was trying to cope with the loss of her beloved grandmother.

  When he found Jason standing outside of the funeral home, he had to step to him even though it was clear the man was leaving.

  If the inside of Lee’s Funeral Home seemed as if it were stuck in a time warp, the outside and surrounding neighborhood really were stuck. Besides the changes in hairstyles and the clothing people wore, he noticed the same things that had been prominent back in the day, girls playing double Dutch and brothers playing dice.

  “This is a tough time for Penny, you know. Big Mama was the only person who had always been there for her no matter what. She’s taking it hard. You really need to lay off about the past.”

  A wave of emotions came over Jason’s face at once and Terrill could see the exact moment when his ex-best friend’s shield went up and he decided to block the emotions.

  Jason sneered. “Shouldn’t you be inside with her, then, if she’s so torn up? Isn’t that what lovers are supposed to do for one another? Comfort? Console? Why are you out here talking to me?”

  Terrill let out an exasperated sigh. He wished he could just be done with this crap. Sure, maybe he and Penny were in the wrong for deceiving Jason, but he so wanted to tell the man that he was being an idiot by not finally making things right with the woman he loved.

  Terrill knew without a doubt that if he had the chance to really have the woman he loved he would take it.

  “I’m out here because despite what you think, I want what’s best for everyone involved. She doesn’t need the stress. It’s bad enough she has to de
al with Carla and you know how that can be.” Terrill ran his hand through his hair. “You don’t need to be all hung up on a past you barely understand. There’s a lot you just don’t know, Jason. If I could tell you without breaking confidences, I would.”

  Terrill was close to just telling Jason that he had never slept with Penny all those years ago and they hadn’t left for California as a couple. That they, in fact, had never been anything more than friends. And the only thing he was guilty of was being a good friend and looking out for the love of Jason’s life until they came to their senses and got back together.

  But no matter what, he couldn’t tell her secret—that it was all a lie. He couldn’t do that to Penny, especially not now with all she was dealing with.

  So he watched the kids ride their bikes down the crowded street along with the other hustle and bustle of an urban city on a spring evening. Paterson’s streets were full of life with a hint of danger pulsing underneath.

  Please let this fool wise up! I am so tired of this!

  “Oh! Now you have morals. Where were they fifteen years ago when you stole my girl?”

  Terrill threw his hands up and shook his head. “I give up, man. I tried, but you’re stuck in the past. You need to let it go. And like I said, lay off with the guilt trips on Penny. She doesn’t need that right now.” Terrill walked away before he did something stupid—like sucker punch his ex-best friend who was now a cop—and ended up in jail.

  He had more important things to think about. Like being there for Penny in her time of need and making it back to California to see where things stood with a certain feisty Afro-Latina woman that he had shared the most amazing, earth-shattering kiss with. He was sure that once she got over being stunned, she was going to be pissed.

  Maritza found her right hand couldn’t stop trailing her lips. It was really hard to focus on work when she had done the stupidest thing she had ever done in her life.

  She had kissed Terrill.

  Or he had kissed her.

  Whatever the case may be…

  She had messed up.

  Big time.

  And now he was in New Jersey with Penny. Helping Penny deal with Big Mama’s death.

  Like always he would be there for Penny whenever she needed him.

  How did a woman allow herself to kiss a man who would drop everything in a heartbeat to run to the aid of another woman? Another woman who was her best friend and his? It was a soap opera waiting to happen if she ever saw one.

  “I knew this was a bad idea! Are you even listening to me?” Lace Monroe, the video vixen formally known as Lil’ Freak and author of several scathing tell-all books in which she named just about every rapper, mogul, athlete, actor or singer she ever so much as blew a kiss at, let alone anything else, hopped her perky little behind out of the seat and in front of Maritza’s desk with enough attitude to loan some out and still have plenty to spare.

  Maritza tried to remember that Lace was a prospective client that would need so much help she might just as well have “Made Out to Cash” stamped on her forehead. But she couldn’t keep her left eyebrow from arching and her head from tilting to the side. Blame it on her parents, but Maritza Morales had Black girl attitude and Latina heat in equal combinations. She certainly wasn’t the one to mess with.

  Lace noted the change in Maritza’s demeanor and gave her a good once-over before much more calmly sitting her behind back down.

  Lace wanted to use the hype and the buzz surrounding her books to go legit. And she wanted New Images by Keys and Morales to help her present a more suitable image.

  Maritza put on her most professional smile and folded her hands in front of her, admiring the pop of color she gave to her clean, white, contemporary-style desk.

  “It will take a lot to clean up the image you have been busy cultivating, Lace. Not to mention the fact that you won’t be able to continue banking on it. If we take you on as a client, you can’t write any more tell-all books and you certainly can’t be out there gathering any more material for future books.” Maritza laid out the ground rules in her most blunt voice.

  Lace rolled her eyes. “Please, if you and Penny Keys can clean up your images and become respectable businesswomen then I can, too. Trust and believe I heard the stories of how you used to get down, especially you.”

  Potential paying customer, potential paying customer… Do not cuss out a potential paying customer. Maritza repeated the mantra in her head and tried to make her smile a little less icy. She knew it was the cold and brittle smile taking shape on her lips because it hurt like hell to do it.

  “I don’t see what my past or my partner’s past have to do with it—”

  “Well, not so much hers since she was hardly as out there as you were, but definitely you. Chick, you would have given me a run for my money in your heyday. Let’s be real.”

  Let’s be real, indeed.

  Wasn’t her scandalous past the reason she never allowed herself to want to have a relationship with the dynamic and domineering music mogul Terrill Carter? But she would be damned if she would let Lace have any leeway when it came to telling her story.

  Maritza’s coldest smile chilled down several more degrees and her eyes narrowed. The other reason she opted for a glacier-white office was about to come to bear. The ice queen had to get deep-frozen in order to give Maritza a challenge when some poor unsuspecting fool got her started. And Lil’ Freak Lace Monroe had fool written all over her if she thought Maritza was going to let her keep on.

  Her Los Angeles professionalism took a back-seat to Maritza-from-the-block and the Bronx Nuyorican Blacktina came out.

  “Chick, you don’t know me. So let me school you on the subject since you seem to want to persist with this line of discussion. While I may have had my share of lovers in my past, the one thing that I have always had is discretion. People may have speculated or wondered, but they could never say for certain who I might have slept with. I’m particular like that with my personal business. You, on the other hand, have chosen to put your own business out there for the world to see. And hey, I can’t knock your hustle…” She shrugged nonchalantly for emphasis.

  “But if you want more than your tawdry tales of sex and scandal being gobbled up by the masses and want to move on to something that showcases more of—should I say more than—your talents, then you need to leave the attitude at the door and listen.” Maritza paused for emphasis and to catch her breath.

  Lace’s face became increasingly twisted in anger and attitude. The woman seemed to be bubbling up and seething. Maritza took another calming breath.

  “Listen—” Lace started.

  “No, you listen.” Maritza cut her off. “People can speculate all they want about my past. But that’s all they will ever do. You won’t ever see me letting them into my personal life like that.”

  The words I’ll never tell took on new meaning as far as her past was concerned. She didn’t want to talk about it, revisit it or have anything to do with it.

  Lace sighed and rolled her eyes. “What-the-hell-ever! I knew this was a bad idea. Chicks are always quick to judge when they know they are just as scandalous and have enough skeletons in they closets to fill a cemetery.”

  Maritza took a deep breath and then exhaled. This woman would be work. This woman would also work her nerves and test her religion on the regular. But something inside of her was demanding that she give Lace a chance.

  It must have been Maritza’s own little inner ex-video-vixen acting up. It was a good thing she’d stopped letting that child make decisions in her life years ago. But still…

  Maritza sighed. She simultaneously hoped she wouldn’t regret what she was about to do and knew without a doubt that she would.

  No good deed goes unpunished.

  It was her favorite saying and she repeated it like a mantra. Too bad it never stopped her from doing good deeds and trying to help folks who probably weren’t worth helping.

  Maritza knew Lace Monroe. Hell
, but for a few digit differences in the number of men they had both supposedly slept with or had affairs with, she used to be Lace Monroe. And in her heart Maritza knew that Lace Monroe was nowhere near ready to change her lifestyle. Truth be told, it had taken a traumatic experience that she wouldn’t wish on any woman to make her change so many years ago.

  “Okay, Lace, we will take you on as a client, but what we need you to do and to stop doing is firm unless you like throwing your money away. We can’t help you clean up your image if you are bent on continuing to be that scandalous tell-all video ho.”

  Lace smiled a real smile that made her look like the young twentysomething she was. “You won’t regret this, Maritza. I swear. This is going to be lucrative for all of us. Because if New Images by Keys and Morales can clean up my image, just think of all the Hollywood and hip-hop clientele you will be getting.”

  “We’ll see about that. In the meantime, I am going to set up some shopping trips for us. You will need a new wardrobe. You know the saying ‘Dress for the job you want, not the job you have’? Well, it’s time for you to start dressing for the life you are aspiring to live.” Maritza took a minute to take in Lace’s popping red, super tight and extra short spandex micro-minidress.

  “So that means we’re going to need you to be a little less video vixen and a little more businesswoman slash rising starlet. On top of that, it’s time to stop doing moguls and time to start concentrating on becoming one. Your mindset is going to be the hardest thing to change.” Maritza kept her face stern and no-nonsense. She knew she was laying it on heavy with Lace. But she wanted the young woman to know that this wasn’t going to be an easy thing to accomplish.

  Changing people’s perceptions of you was a damn near impossible endeavor. But as far as Maritza was concerned, New Images by Keys and Morales dealt in possibility and faced the impossible down until it flinched.

  “Am I paying for this lecture or is it a bonus service?” Lace twisted her lips to the side and rolled her eyes.